dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
