i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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