lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize