Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize