I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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