I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
