Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
