Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
