I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
