Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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