So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
