So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
just found out that she named her cat after me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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