If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
