I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
