I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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