From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
