So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
