I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I deserve this hangover.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
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