I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
