Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this boner is exhausting
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
