I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize