Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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