the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We are two peas in an std pod
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
