Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
