Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
