I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
