yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
