If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come share oat with me in your robe
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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