turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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