Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize