If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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