forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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