Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
