Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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