Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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