I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need a beard to bite.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize