I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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