...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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