Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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