hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Text me some of your sweat
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
