When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
