Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
