Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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