you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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