I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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