i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
