sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
