so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
