So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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