I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
