why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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