there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
