Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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