She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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