giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
