I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
