We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
