He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
