May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
