You smell like stripper and shame
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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