'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm too high and old for this...
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