A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
