After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
