She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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