At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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