love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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