I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
