I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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