I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
